


The three times Sarah Manning has said "I love you" (and all the unspoken times she hasn't)

by WriterLiz1988



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Family, Love, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 02:59:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 621
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7490748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WriterLiz1988/pseuds/WriterLiz1988
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Little vignettes about love, Sarah Manning style.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The three times Sarah Manning has said "I love you" (and all the unspoken times she hasn't)

It’s not that Sarah Manning isn’t fond of the phrase, “I love you,” it’s just that she prefers to say it sparingly and have it mean something. Except with Kira of course, she doesn’t say it everyday to the people that she loves. 

i. The first time Sarah Manning says “I love you,” and means it, really means it, it’s to her brother, Felix. He has just climbed through her window of Mrs. S’s house, and the 19 year old looks alarmed and she startles out of bed and gets out to turn on the bedroom light.  
“Where the hell were ya, Fe?” Sarah asks.  
“Out,” he mutters, dressed to the nines in black leather and spikes- his “goth” faze.  
“Who were you with?”  
“Brandon,” Felix answers. He takes a deep breath. “I need to tell you something.”  
Sarah sits on her bed. She’s awake now. “Shoot.”  
Felix sits down on the bed opposite her, a “guest bed,” their mum has set up.  
He wrings his hands together. Takes a deep breath. Sarah looks concerned. “Spit it out,” she says, but gently.  
“I’m gay,” Felix blurts out. “I like blokes.”  
Sarah raises her eyes. As if this is news?  
“Well of course you are,” she says, shrugging her shoulders like she knows already.  
Felix looks confused. “How did you know?”  
“You’re always mooning over actors on tv.. you dress well and know fashion.. anytime a boyfriend of mine comes over you take an interest,” Sarah says, smiling slightly.  
Felix’s eyes mist over a bit. “You’re okay with it?”  
“Come here,” Sarah says, and pulls Felix in a hug. “You’re such a dork. I love you no matter what. You’re my brother.”  
Felix smiles to himself as he is engulfed into a hug. “I love you, too.”

 

ii. The second time Sarah says “I love you,” was to Cal, after they make love. She sighs in content as Cal kisses her lips, her neck, all the way down to her pelvic bone.  
“I love you,” she whispers. He whispers, “I love you too,” and they go to sleep, peacefully, not knowing the miracle that will be in her belly soon enough. 

 

iii. The third time Sarah says, “I love you,” is frantic. After a night of sharing a bed with her sister, Sarah wakes up to find Cosima pale, eyes closed. For a dreaded second, Sarah is sure that her closest sister is dead.  
“Cos?” She shakes her sister. “Cos, goddamnit, wake up!”  
It takes a few more rounds but Cos finally wakes up and groans, putting her hand to her head. Cosima blinks for a few times, trying to place her surroundings. “Sarah?” she whispers.  
“You’re fine, Cos. You’re at Felix’s.” Sarah sighs, exhales, runs her hands through her hair. Her hands are shaking.  
“Sarah, look at me,” Cosima says gently. “I’m fine. Headache for sure, but alive and breathing.”  
“I thought for a minute-“ Sarah says, and stops, choked up. To say it would be the unthinkable.  
“Come back to bed,” Cosima says, to which Sarah obliges.  
She puts her head into Cosima’s shoulder, as if hiding from the world. A world without her sister would be hard enough.  
“I love you, Cos,” she says. A year ago, she couldn’t even imagine those words coming from her mouth.  
“I know,” Cosima smiles, smoothing Sarah’s hair back. “I love you too, sestra.”

Even though Sarah might not say those words aloud often, she shows it often. With every “mum” said to Mrs. S, to every PTA event that Alison holds which she attends, with her weekly meals with Helena, to every text she ever sends with thoughtful care, Sarah Manning might seem like a contradiction, but she is full of love.


End file.
